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Anal Sex: 5 tips to prepare smooth and painless sex

5 Tips on getting ready for first time anal sex

Date: 02.23.2024

Written By

Editorial Staff

I am a blog scientist by the mind and a passionate blogger by heart ❤️. Fountainhead of upkeen. I am a freelance writer and lover of all things tech, crafting and general geekery. i am currently living in New York, United States.

Almost one in two adults has not yet tested anal sex. Apprehension of pain or fear of living a degrading experience, anal penetration repels some. What if we put our prejudices and bad experiences of anal sex aside? Going off-piste can bring very astonishing sensations…

It’s decided, have you decided to try anal sex? To prepare yourself well (and discover anal sex in the best conditions!), Follow our tips to have first time anal sex.

Table of Contents

Anal Sex: a little ass anatomy lesson

How it works? The anus contains two very powerful muscles called the sphincters. These control the exit of our digestive tract. The “external” sphincter is the one we can control, the “internal” sphincter is automatic. So he does what he wants when he wants and doesn’t really like intrusive objects! Only a state of letting go contributes to its release.

Our buttocks are very receptive to sensations because the innervation of the anal canal is very dense! This explains the extreme sensitivity and the perception of the slightest movement, much more than during vaginal penetration.

5 Tips on getting ready for first time anal sex

1. Take the time to discuss it

Before getting started anal sex, we take the time to discuss it (on the pillow?) With Cheri: we express our fears and our doubts, we reveal our fantasies and, above all, we define a safeword – it is about ‘a keyword which, pronounced during the act, will mean “we stop everything!”. Ideally, we choose an unusual word so as not to risk saying it inadvertently- we avoid “stop”, for example.

10 misconceptions about anal sex
Discuss with your partner before having 1st time anal sex

2. getting to know the lubricant for anal sex

No successful sodomy without lubricant: indeed, the secretions of the anal mucosa are insufficient to allow painless penetration. We prefer a lubricant based on water or silicone, compatible with the use of a condom – the only effective defense against STIs . Good to know: in some love stores, there are even special “anal sex” lubricants. So as not to find yourself fumbling around on D-Day, we don’t hesitate to familiarize ourselves with the substance beforehand!

3. progress in stages of anal sex

Sweetness+patience+delicacy: this is THE recipe for a successful sodomy. To prepare before D-Day, we can first invite Cheri to explore the area with his fingers; if one feels comfortable, it can even end in penetration with one or two fingers – this is the analdigitus. Otherwise, you can opt for an erotic game with a sextoy (be careful to choose a suitable sextoy) … or even with the tongue, like anal cunnilingus!

4. Sodomy: try the anal plug

This cone-shaped sex toy is specially designed for anal penetration: it is the ideal accessory to prepare for anal sex. Because there are different sizes, different widths and different textures (silicone, glass, metal, wood…), it allows you to gently initiate anal sex. We choose it in a love store (where we can even ask for advice) and we make sure to clean it well before use with an anti-bacterial soap to avoid infections.

5. getting ready for the big day

To test sodomy in the best conditions on D-Day, we first think of hygiene: we empty our intestines and take a good shower – as a duo, for example, it can be the occasion for original foreplay. Then you relax – with hugs or a massage, for example. Finally, we keep a few condoms close at hand (important: we must change condoms if we go to vaginal penetration), a packet of tissues, lubricant and, possibly, our favorite naughty toys!

Anal Sex: pain relief tips and tricks

  • Relax. So that sodomy is not painful, it is imperative to release your sphincters. It is therefore essential to choose a trustworthy partner who will be attentive to your reactions and who will put himself at the right pace. It can help you relax your muscles by inserting one or two fingers into your anus before entering yourself.
  • Lubricate. Using a special anal lubricant remains the best option, but you can also choose a classic silicone-based lubricant. Do not skimp on the dose, you can never put “too much”.
  • Push. During sodomy, we often tend to contract, and this is the best way to be painful! You have to do the opposite, try to “push” as if you were going to have a bowel movement.

Go (really) gently… To avoid tears, it is better to be penetrated step by step. The movements should be much smoother and slower than during vaginal penetration. Once the tip of the glans has entered, it is best to take a break, to let the anus get used to it, and then resume quietly. Crouching over the man turns out to be a good position to set the tempo and control penetration.

Final Note

Caresses are very important because they promote “letting go“. The man must redouble his attention and be very attentive to the feelings of his partner. Physically, the sensations are multiplied on both sides. The sex of the man is cramped, and the woman feels the penis better. The couple is therefore completely connected to each other. The anal orgasm exists and, contrary to popular belief and misconception about having anal sex, sodomy can be experienced as a moment full of tenderness, very accomplice.

Health point: watch out for sexually transmitted diseases! This is the opening through which the risk of contamination is greatest so don’t forget to use a condom.

To make your first anal sex a success, also make sure to follow these few tips:

  • The most important: the condom! Indeed, because it causes anal micro-lesions, anal sex can also transmit certain sexually transmitted infections (STIs). And if you want to return to vaginal sex during your lovemaking, consider changing the condom…
  • For painless anal sex, lubrication is essential. However, unlike vaginal penetration, natural lubrication is not sufficient: opt for a water-based lubricant or special silicone “anal sex” to buy in specialized stores. And don’t skimp on the dose!
  • Patience and gentleness are the key words for a successful anal sex. Take it step by step, without rushing. And if the pain is at the tip of your nose, don’t hesitate to say “stop” to your partner.
  • To reach orgasm, do not focus only on penetration: think of caresses, masturbation, erogenous zones, sweet words, dirty talk… In short, multiply the sources of excitement to multiply the pleasure. Obviously, the preliminaries are absolutely essential.

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